Tourist town.

Cousins playing in the (private) road.  Because. Rocks.   Don't worry, Grandma and Dad/Uncle were on high alert but we hardly ever have any traffic.

We live in a tourist town.  People are attracted to the area because of our abundant lakes with good fishing (ice and open water).  There are also opportunities for jet skiing, water skiing, kayaking and canoeing.

In addition to water sports, we have hundreds of miles of trails for hiking, biking, ATV riding, snowmobiling and cross country skiing. 

We have a cute downtown with specialty shops that cater to the tourist but also serve the year round residents well.

Only 39% of us live here year round.  The winters are long and cold, sometimes harsh.  The employment opportunities abound during the summer, but after Labor Day some businesses close.  Others lay people off or drastically cut hours.  When the tourists go, so do the jobs.

Then, when the tourists leave, this is a totally different place.  It is rare to grocery shop or stop at the post office or bank without seeing someone you know.

We love it here.  We have had to move away twice but have always comes back.   Our kids come back, not only to see us, but I think because it was such a wonderful place to grow up.

Our oldest son and our two year old grandson have been here the past few days.  Our son and the resident fisherman have been fishing on some of the lesser known lakes in the area.  We’ve taken our grandson on walks down the private road and he has seen many deer (some without even leaving the house!).

We could have gone go-carting or horse back riding or to the children’s museum or mini golfing or any other of a number of outings that cater to tourists.  But we are very content to wet a line in Grandpa’s boat or walk through the woods or play on the deck or with a pile of rocks. 

The simple life.  People pay a lot of money and rush up here, scurry around to take every thing in and go home sunburned and exhausted with depleted bank accounts.

We are among the few and the blessed who can walk right out our doors and take it all in any time we want.

parallel play

Back before the earth's crust cooled, I received a degree in teacher education (and religion and philosophy of all things).

We learned that children ages 0-3 do not play together but in parallel.  Each doing their own thing.  I'm seeing evidence of that in these two grandchildren of mine.  Cousins.  Not playing together but separately.  Every once in a while they acknowledge each other's presence.  It's pretty cute.

 -

We are having a blast.  Calvin is 2 years 8 months.  Taya is 23 months.  I love having them here together.  I'm not getting a thing done, but who cares. These days-years are fleeting as any grandma knows and frequently tells her kids even as they (still) roll their eyes at her.

As far as my religion and philosophy degree.  It is not much help when 'reasoning' with a reluctant almost 2 or 3 year old.  

I hear them laughing maniacally in another room.  Gotta go........

Lessons from Mom part 4

Mom with her first great grandchild.  She now has 9. In 9 years!

"If you can't say anything nice......"  I paused.

"Don't say anything at all!"  chorused the 80 and 90 year old ladies I was leading in Bible study at our local assisted living place.

This was a common saying among those of 'the greatest generation'.

It seems in today's society, this has been forgotten. I'm appalled  at the coarse language I hear in public today.  But that is a rant for another day.

Mom continually drove home the point that we should be careful about our speech.

"Oh, be careful little mouth what you say, 

Oh be careful little mouth what you say,

For the Father up above is looking down in love,

So be careful little mouth what you say."

So, we were careful what we said.  I think it was easier during the kinder, gentler time of the 50's.  We were not allowed to say 'dumb' , 'stupid' , 'shut up' .  (I cringe even typing these words! Sorry, Mom!) Calling someone silly was also frowned upon.

We lived near Mom and Dad from 2008-2013.  Even tho Alzheimer's had begun to cloud her mind, not only did Mom refrain from saying unkind things, she heaped lavish praise on folks. Even strangers.

"Oh, what a beautiful baby you have!"

"I love your scarf!"

 "Thank you for doing that!"

Kind words flowed from her mouth.  She especially heaped praise on the pianist at church.

Mom was simply and beautifully modeling Biblical behavior.

Colossians 4:5-6

 " Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who is wise holds his tongue. " 

Proverbs 10:19

"Even a fool is thought wise if  he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue."

Proverbs 17:28

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."

Proverbs 25:11

Mom, thank you for teaching us to be careful and full of care in our speech.

Lessons from Mom part 3

Probably when Mom was my age, in her 60's, sleep starting eluding her.

She would awaken at 3 or 4 a.m. and painfully make her way up the long flight of steps to the  (above the garage) bonus room.  (She had fallen off a bike when she was in her 50's and had difficulty with stairs.)

She called the bonus room her sanctuary.  After brewing a small pot of coffee, she would read her Bible.  Following her Bible and devotional book reading she would write in a journal.  The journals (and there are many) are a combination of recording the preceding day's events as well as praises and prayers.  By Mom's own admission they are difficult to read.

Mom, thank you for your faithful example of reading God's Word.  For your prayers.  In a world that increasingly seems counter to our faith, we have your example of establishing a sanctuary.  A place of safety.  Of rest and refreshment.  Despite the hour or the difficulty of getting there, you purposefully chose to begin each day in the sanctuary.  I choose to follow your example.

Psalm 63

You, God, are my God,

    earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

    my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

    where there is no water.

2 

I have seen you in the sanctuary

    and beheld your power and your glory.

3 

Because your love is better than life,

    my lips will glorify you.

4 

I will praise you as long as I live,

    and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;

    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 

On my bed I remember you;

    I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 

Because you are my help,

    I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 

I cling to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

Lessons from Mom part 2

 Mom has always been a church goin' woman.   She has taught Sunday School and VBS.  After some of us left the nest, she pursued her lay leader certification through the United Methodist Church, which allowed her to preach.

Looking back through our old family photo albums you will find pictures of three little girls dressed in matching dresses.  Patent leather shoes, ruffled socks.  Our hair would have been curled after Saturday night baths, probably while we were sitting watching the Lawrence Welk Show.  Perhaps we held a little purse and on Easter Sunday, we definitely wore a hat. We are facing the sun with scrunched up squinty faces, but we were ready for church.

I gave fond memories of church growing up.  It never occurred to me to rebel against going.  It was as much a part of my life as breathing.

I attribute this to Mom.  I often remember her quoting Psalm 122:1:

I was glad when they said unto me, let us go to the house of the Lord.

Mom, you are one smart Mama.  Thank you for instilling in me, not only the habit of going to church, but the attitude that makes it a joy, lo these 60+ years later.  Love you, Mom!

Lessons from Mom part 1

Isn't Mom adorable?!

It was 1970ish.  I had gotten a job at a family-style restaurant.  My first job other than giving piano lessons to beginners or baby sitting. The only downside to this job, that I could see, was that my mother worked there too.

Now, I love my mom, but as a 16 year old, I was not crazy about working with her.

Most of the time we worked separate shifts.  But one evening we were on together.  

A few hours into our shift, I had a very dissatisfied customer. There was a rubber band in his ground round steak (!).  I would have been dissatisfied too, however, I would not have treated anyone the way he treated me.  He read me the riot act.  I did what any sensitive 16 year old girl would do (after apologizing and putting in another order for a rubberbandless ground round), I retreated to the dish room to cry.  (He hurt my feelings.)

Somehow, Mom got wind of this.  She didn't come to me initially, but went straight to the irate customer.  My petite mother gave him a taste of his own medicine.   I am sure, knowing Mom, that she was not rude, but she let him know in no uncertain terms that his attack toward me was unjustified.  Iam sure that her beautiful blue eyes were snapping in anger. (I may or may not have witnessed that 'look' growing up.)

Then she came to see if I was okay.  I delivered another steak to the now sheepish customer.  

My sweet little mama, who always taught the four of us to speak sweetly, fiercely defended me.  I cannot remember that without smiling in gratitude.

This story has a happy ending.  That rude customer ending up giving me a $5 tip.  I had never received such a large tip!

~~~~~~~~~~

Neither Mom nor I realized it then, but she was painting a picture for me of One Who Defends me, 

when I AM guilty of wrong.

I John 2:1

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.  But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

Mom took up my case, because she is my mom.  Jesus takes up my case because he is my Savior.

He tells the Father, "Yes, Cheri is a sinner.  But I paid the price for her sins."

Thank you Mom for giving me a small glimpse of what that looks like.  Love you Mom, you have always pointed me to Jesus.

men who multitask

This is not a great picture of our three sons, but I love it for several reasons. 

• We seldom get to see the three of them gathered in one place anymore.
• They are playing Carcasonne together - with a lot of playful banter being exchanged.
• While they are playing a board game, Nate and Jon are also playing Words with Friends on their smart phones.  Either Daniel doesn't have a smart phone or they haven't invited him to play.  20 years ago, he would have tattled on them, but he seems to be able to fend for himself now.

As I've mentioned, we had such a great time at Christmas.  We gave the boys each a DVD that we had converted from some VHS tapes we had of their childhood.

I don't think I have ever seen the three of them or my daughters-in-love laugh so hard.  Jon even fell on the floor overcome with laughter.  Somone snorted they were laughing so hard (that was quite possibly  me).

Ah, good times.  Good times.

I loved those days when they were all at home underfoot.  But we can't go back, can we?  Only in our memories.

I stopped several times during our gathering and reminded myself, that, these, these, are the days that will in the future be - the good old days.  We make special memories every time we are together.  Not because we do anything fancy, but because we make an effort to spend time together and love on each other. And tease.  And play.

Three little grands underfoot and in arms, laughing, yelling, crying, sleeping, falling and yes, snorting.  We will remember these good old days.

Grandma and Grandpa were the first ones to head for home, having the most distance to cover.  But before we left, we sat in the car for a moment, with tears in our eyes, and yes, running down our cheeks, rejoicing in what we had experienced.  So sad to be leaving, but so grateful for our precious, wonderful family.

Nathan said he thought the driveway looked a little wet after we left.

frugalista-ing

"As soon as you get close enough to them to try to help them, you're introducing this host of competing values and creating desires in them that they didn't have before," Wallace says. "They begin to forget how to hunt traditionally; they want shotguns, they want shotgun shells, blankets, all sorts of stuff. Right now, as they are, they can live in the jungle completely free of the world's money, economy and thrive quite well."

(bold-mine)

A story about an unreached tribe.  Those studying them do not wish to sully the tribe with 21st century's values and diseases.

Read more here.

 We are not so careful with our own culture.

 Tired of Christmas commercials yet?  Their purpose is to create desires that you didn't have before.

  How I wish we could live "completely free of the world's money, economy and thrive quite well".

 But then, I always feel that way - whether we are talking about Black Friday, indigenous tribes or, well, anything.   ~Smile~

My sisters were together over Thanksgiving.  One of the dinner guests was trying to figure out which sister my little sister was.  Apparently, one distinguishing feature is that I, the absent sister, am the one who would actually make pumpkin pie out of a ...pumpkin.  LOL.

Yes, I  have always been the one to do things the hard way, the frugal way, the old-fashioned way.  And to do so unapologetically.

Given that, I am thrilled to be able to teach a course in frugal living to the women in our local shelter (a faith based organization). 

Since there is no curriculum, I'm developing my own.  I have spent the last several days in the book of Proverbs.  I found 99 verses on economy - they neatly break down into three categories:

Be wise.
Be diligent.
Be good.

How like GOD's Word to have everything we need for life and godliness. (II Peter 1:3)

These will be a great foundation for all the tips I'm eager to share with the gals.  I just need to be careful not to scare them off with some of my 'black-belt' tightwad ideas.  Teehee.

I'll keep you all posted on the  progress.  I plan to develop a notebook for each gal - something she can take with her when she leaves the shelter.  My goal is to have things ready to go by the beginning of January (thanks, Linda - you inspired me!).

~~~~~

My niece Emilee and I had fun stitching together after Thanksgiving dinner.  She designed and mostly stitched the little kitty and the label below.  She accidentally left it here, so I turned it into a sachet using fabric from my scrap bag and lavendar from my garden.

Frugal, yes? 
I'm training Emilee too - she just thinks we are having fun. 
Little does she know. 
Wink.

keyed up

I currently have 9 piano students (1 more to start in a week or so).

This week, one cancelled and two rescheduled their lessons.

Two failed to show up (and failed to notify me that they were not coming).

One of the re-scheduled ones came 30 minutes earlier than scheduled.

One mom texted and asked if her daughter could come 30 minutes early and sit and do homework so the mom could run some errands.

Most of the moms communicate with me through texts, so I have a record at my fingertips of any changes in lessons - as well as my calendar on my phone.  I try to be flexible and accommodating, because I know there will be days when the rescheduling will be due to last minute changes on my calendar (like the time Dad decided to go unconscious with hypoglycemia just as one of my students arrived for her lesson ~smile~).

I love my students.  I love their moms.

I want to sit down and have a talk with each and every one of the sweet, harried,  over-scheduled moms.

This is what I would say:

"You don't have to do it all.  It is not necessary for you to schedule your kids to within an inch of their lives.
Pick the things that are most important.  Spend the most amount of time (and money) on those activities that give the greatest and longest return."

Here is what we did.  We pretty much said yes to any church activity - whether it be a weekly, monthly or annual (retreat-type).  I have zero regrets about doing this.  All of the boys are still actively connected to their churches.  Two are youth pastors, the third not only attends church weekly, but goes to a weekly men's prayer/study meeting as well as a small group.

Regarding sports...after a very brief foray into pre-little league stuff, we decided that they boys would focus on one sport.  For all three of them it became soccer.  We ran around like crazy with soccer games and practices from August  - November, but then the season was done.  Then we could resume family suppers together each evening.

The boys also played basketball every Monday night at church with their dad and other men from church and the community.  Add to this biking, fishing, running, golfing.....things they could do for the rest of their lives - they led busy (but not crazy busy)  active lives.

They each had piano lessons early on but did not stick with them (and I think they have all lived to regret that, but I will not say 'I told you so' ~smile~).  Guitars in various shapes and sizes became their musical instruments of choice and they all still play (and sing!  which warms this mama's heart no end).

I will not argue against team sports because I think they have some value - teamwork, cooperation, gracious winning and losing, discipline to name a few- but I think one can gain this benefit without having to be involved in a team sport during every season of the year.

Sports injuries in children are on the rise because of extended and back to back sports seasons.

I feel a great responsibility to be the best piano teacher I can be - within the limit of my abilities. 

I also feel a great responsibility to care for their moms.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Titus 2:3-5

As the mothers express their frustrations regarding their schedules with me, I gently let them know that they can hop off the merry-go-round.  A few of them have listened to me as I have given them 'permission' to do what they know in their hearts is best for their family.

My goal is to sit down with each one of them for a relaxing  cup of tea.  To encourage them and help them to take the long view of their children's extra-curricular activities.

One of the benefits of old age is the privilege of gaining perspective.  Some of things we think are so important when are children are little turn out to not matter so much at all.

If you are a young mom and are reading this post, you are probably tired of older women telling you to enjoy your kids while they are young.  Enjoying them does not mean you need to enroll them in every activity under the sun and speed from one practice to another only slowing down to pick up supper at the fast food window.

Cancel some of that stuff.  Pack a picnic lunch, play frisbee at the park with your kids and read them stories afterwards.  Or build a fort in the living room and have supper there every once in a while. Slow down, stay out of the car, turn the cell and the 'puter off and 'be' with your kids.

You won't regret it.

more guests

We had a delightful time with D. yesterday. It was a brief visit, but we are so grateful he took the time and went out of his way to see us. He also brought us some 'products'. Christmas in May!

Today's guest is pictured above. Mom and Dad left this morning to visit family in NC. Kimmee is stuck with us for the next few days. First order of business - a walk. Then a bath. I'm not sure which one of us got wetter. She is not fond of baths. KimmeeSue is now on the back porch drying. When I peer out the door to check on her, she looks up at me with doleful eyes. 'How could you, I thought we were friends,' she seems to say.

We have another visitor arriving tomorrow evening. K. is a college student. We have known her since she was a baby. She is working for Campus Crusade in Gatlinburg this summer. We pick her up from the airport Sunday night and take her to Gatlinburg on Monday. It will be great to see her!

I need to go make friends with a certain doggy again. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!